I, like tens-of-thousands of folks, entered the term ‘spinal muscular atrophy’ into Google to learn about the prognosis.  ‘Spinal Muscular Atrophy’ was one of the top search terms in Google a few weeks ago.

Avery died last week, fairly unexpectedly at the age of six-months.

If we all have a purpose in life, it’s clear Avery’s was to raise awareness of SMA and inspire us to appreciate our own lives and the health of our children.

God bless Avery and her family. My family grieves with them.

A grandmother at Reid’s playgroup asked me about it Monday. Her family is faced with the possibility of putting off a scheduled surgery in the coming weeks while the hospital and the insurance company work to hopefully settle their dispute.

My friend and former colleague Arielle Levin Becker is doing an awesome job covering the dispute for the CT Mirror  Read her latest story: Anthem, Connecticut Children’s talking, but no deal yet

Is the dispute impacting your family? Let me know. If you can talk to the Courant please message my friend and current colleague Matt Sturdevant — msturdevant @ courant.com/ @CTInsuranceNews.

Follow Arielle on Twitter @ariellelb

ConnecticutWorkingMoms is one of the best parenting blogs in Connecticut.

The MOMS Club, with chapters in Enfield, Manchester/East Hartford, Middletown and Wethersfield, says on its web site: “We are a support group designed just for you, the at-home mother of today!”

When my wife was home after having Reid, suffering from postpartum depression, I searched the web for a group of moms she could join in town. The Wethersfield MOMS Club came up. But she couldn’t join. She would return to work after a 16-week maternity leave.

I totally get that at home moms can have challenges with socializing with adults and how hectic their lives are.

You only have to read a ‘Day In The Life’ feature on ConnecticutWorkingMoms to appreciate how difficult it is for moms to juggle a job outside the home, child care and family life.

Truth is, my wife would love to be an at home mom. From the time we started dating in our teens, she said she’d like to not have a job outside the home when our children were  young.

In our late 20s, I supported her taking three years off from work to go to grad school full-time.

I talked to our landlord about buying the duplex in Old Wethersfield that we lived in and continuing to live upstairs while renting out the first floor apartment.  Then he rented to some less than desirable neighbors who trashed the place.  So we decided not to buy it, and bought our house.

After we found out we both carried the CF gene, we accepted we’d be spending tens-of-thousands on IVF to try and have a second child.

For better or worse, grad school paid off. My wife makes a lot more money than I do.

If life played out differently, my wife would be an at home mom. I have some guilt that I can’t see a way to make that happen for our family.

Now that we are in the toddler stage, I’d be happy being a stay at home dad — I didn’t love the infant stage. My best friend was an at home dad when his kids were younger.

We all have our story about why we do or do not work outside the home. Maybe you can help me understand the divide between working moms and at home moms. More importantly, maybe we all can help bridge that gap.

Links

• Parents.com: Stay At Home Calculator
• Moms And More group: CT Playdates, Moms Nights Out, TLC & More

Your kid being “the kid” who teaches his schoolmates some new colorful language is every parent’s fear.

Still, the suspension, and mark on the student’s permanent record, seems excessive. Suing the principal and the school district over a one-day suspension also seems equally excessive.

Certainly, threats and bullying should not be tolerated even in young children. But swearing isn’t necessarily a threat.

I also hope the father spoke to school officials and the principal to share his concerns before filing a suit.

The idea of a 5-year-old really even having a permanent record seems pretty silly. Are colleges really going to be looking at his transcript from kindergarten?

As parents, we need to hold other parents and school officials accountable for things that really matter. But we also need to cut each other some slack when young children show poor judgement.

Neither school officials or the boy’s father seem to be setting the best example in exercising reasoned judgment. The suspension and the lawsuit both are examples of the punishment not fitting the crime.

What do you think of the story?

After some social media push back, Huggies pulled it’s ‘Dad Test’ ad campaign.

I’m glad.

One ad starts out: “To prove Huggies diapers can handle anything, we put them to the ultimate test: Dads, alone with their babies, at nap time, after a very full bottle.”

I’m not sure I know any dad of babies or small children who is not comfortable changing a diaper. I’ve been alone with Reid at nap time literally over a 100 times in the last 2-and-a-half years. It’s not a big deal.

Chris Routly took up a petition against Huggies and Kimblery Clark on his dad blog, “The Daddy Doctrines” and got over 1000 signatures asking Huggies to stop running the ads.

Honestly, the ads really don’t upset me personally. But the public outcry, and Huggies’ response to pull the ads, does prove to me how quickly media and pop culture’s portrayal of dads has changed.

The dumb, uninvolved dad humor of “Everybody Loves Raymond” — and copy-cat shows like “Yes Dear” — do kind of get me upset. Unlike the fathers on those shows, I would much rather spend time with my family than play golf or hang out with my buddies.

There seems to be a couple gags in every episode where Ray whines to Debra about spending time with his family. Ray and Debra’s relationship is very much like a child and a mother who takes care of him, with a joke peppered in about how Ray wants sex.

‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ went off the air in 2005.  Now in 2012, we are petitioning to get ads taken off a company’s Facebook page.

Diapers aren’t the only thing being changed by dads in pop culture.

What do you think of the Huggies ads and ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ type sitcoms?

More reading:

• Bobblehead Dad: Huggies Starts to Wipe Up their Dad Mess 
• WashingtonPost.com: Huggies revamps ‘Dad Test’ campaign after complaints
• Change.org: We’re Dads, Huggies. Not Dummies

Follow @jimhigley and @ChrisRoutly on Twitter

Okay, and here’s a dad changing a diaper Huggies ad that I do find pretty funny.

I wouldn’t say he misbehaves. He’s just busy and active.

My wife and I were talking about preschool with a good friend of ours who’s an elementary school teacher. She said it will teach him skills he needs, “like sitting still.”

Being an only child not in day care, I worry about Reid learning social skills. Like every parent,  I worry about him learning colors, letters and numbers.

I don’t really care if my two-year-old can’t sit still.

Reid is an active, curious, slightly mischievous little boy. I think that’s awesome.

I’m concerned how he’ll do in school with this personality though. I’m further concerned that my nurturing these wild ways will put me in conflict with his classroom teachers.

A friend of mine with two boys of her own, posted an article on her Facebook page from the Toronto Star about a Canadian educator’s views on “boy energy.” My friend, Kris-Ann, blogged about her decision whether public school or a Montessori education is best for her son with special needs.

I’m glad more parents and educators are looking at the unique challenges of educating young boys. It’s a struggle to harness Reid’s energy and make sure he is developing and learning new things. But I think it’s also a lot of fun as his parent.

We review letters floating in his tub many nights. Through the splashes and pouring water over his head he’ll repeat “D, makes Da sound, like dog.”

I understand things will change when Reid gets into a classroom setting. I don’t want his behavior to be a disruption. But I hope he stays active and engaged with people around him. I don’t want to screw that up.

Do you have concerns about how your son will do – is doing — in preschool? Any elementary school teachers want to weigh in?

More Links

• Education Week: Why Boys Fail 
• The Daily Beast: Why Are School-Aged Boys Struggling

1. He calls sea gulls “dump chickens”
2. He knew my first name before he could say “mom” or “mama.” At 10 months old, he’d greet me by saying “Hi, Jim” from his highchair
3. He thinks it’s hysterical  when somebody “toots”
4. At 2, he can work my parents’ DVD player better than they can
5. When he talks on the phone or plays with a toy phone, he answers it by saying “What’s Up?”
6. I often tell him: “Reid you are an awesome little kid.” Now he tells strangers: “Me awesome little kid.”
7. He calls his butt his poop-er-a-tor
8. We call the naked run from his bedroom to the tub “going streaking”
9. If I pull up to a Dunkin’ Donuts drive thru, Reid asks for french fries
10. If you ask him where his “business” is, he points to his crotch

Share what you’ve taught your kids that maybe you shouldn’t have.

Over the course of several weeks we got to know Tommy and his parents a little. This was about a year ago, so Reid was about 1 1/2. Tommy had just turned 2 years old.

The boys would often share toys and snacks over the chairs. My wife and I would chat with Tommy’s parents for a minute or two after mass and the boys seemed to get along.

On the way to church one Sunday my wife excitedly told me she wanted to suggest we have a play date with Tommy. That Sunday must have been particularly crowded at mass, because we sat on opposite ends of the same row as Tommy’s family.

I’m a tad of a helicopter dad. It’s unusual that I let Reid out of arms reach from me. But that week I was feeling brave, and it seemed inevitable that the two boys would be drawn together like toddler magnets.

Reid made his way to Tommy and his parents during mass, passing a half dozen other people sitting between us and Tommy.

The rest is a blur. Tommy’s mom swooped him up with him screaming and ran out of the church. Reid was crying but unscathed. My wife and I reeled Reid back in, trying to figure out what happened. Literally through a game of telephone in the middle of mass, we found out Reid bit Tommy. On the face.

My wife checked on Tommy. He was bleeding and needed ice to keep the swelling down. They were calling their pediatrician.

There are few things in parenting young kids that can make you more mortified by your child. I’d much rather have the child who was bitten than the child doing the biting.

We thought Reid was Hannibal Lecter.

Preschool-aged children will sometimes bite out of aggression. At 1 1/2, I’m confident Reid was overly excited to see his friend. Kisses turned into a bite and it seems to have gone along with teething.

It’s a teachable moment for Reid that our actions can hurt others. It’s a teachable moment for me that I need to let Reid out of arms reach. Sometimes I’ll be mortified by what ensues. Other times I’ll be proud.

Still, that play date never happened. We changed where we sit at mass after that incident.

Has your kid had a problem with biting?

Sites on Biting:

• Zero To Three
• Baby Center
• Parenting.com: Biting 
• iVillage

Every kid in West Hartford in the 1980s had a Bazilians t-shirt and thought Conny the Whale was a family pet.

My sister generously gave Reid and my wife and I a membership to the Children’s Museum for Christmas this year. My parents generously upgraded the membership to a “Family Plus” membership when we went for the first time in December. The Children’s Museum representative up-sold us to the more expensive membership with the added benefit that the we’d also get into KidCity, in Middletown and my extended family would also get in on the membership.

About six weeks after signing on the dotted line, we got an e-mail saying the Children’s Museum is changing its membership terms. My parents and sister will be paying when they come with us. We plan to get another membership at KidCity.

The e-mail also touts they plan to “enhance exhibits.”  From December to our most recent trip in February one of the biggest changes I noticed is that they replaced some exhibit and play space with vending machines.

Reid enjoyed the new Dinosaurs: Jurassic Treehouse exhibit. I’d warn parents that about a quarter of the exhibit space is a gift shop right at the entrance/exit.

They do great work in educating children and caring for animals at the Children’s Museum. Reid pet a lizard at the museum. He loves the turtle room. He shows no sign of being scared of the snakes. I wish I could say the same for my wife and I. These are invaluable experiences that he’s only had at the Children’s Museum.

I’d encourage parents to support all the great museums for children in central Connecticut. We are lucky to have so many places in such a small area. Check out Connecticut Museum Quest   and Out And About Mom for descriptions of dozens of attractions in Connecticut.

These places are particularly important during the winter months, providing a place where kids can run around, be with other kids and hopefully learn and explore.

I plan to write features of attractions as we visit them.

I am hoping the Children’s Museum remains as much a part of Reid’s childhood as it was mine.

The e-mail from the Children’s Museum is below. Let me know what you think of the changes in the museum’s membership policy. Am I being too rough on the museum?

Important Membership Changes

To our valued members:

A new year is upon us and I want to thank you for continuing to support the fun and educational opportunities The Children’s Museum brings to our community. This past year has brought changes and improvements to our museum and the visitor experience. We are continuing to re-carpet and repaint, welcome new residents to our animal sanctuary, offer expanded Science Dome shows and change and enhance exhibits. 

If you have visited very recently, I am confident you found enjoyment in our newest feature exhibit, Dinosaurs: Jurassic Treehouse. This exhibit allows you to step back in time to view animatronic dinosaurs from the treehouse platforms. Also, new souvenirs await you in our newly created Dino Store. With plans for additional new experiences coming this summer, I am sure you will continue to find value in your membership.

With feedback from our members and the aid of an experienced consultant, we recognize the need to feed more resources back into our museum to create a quality experience for each of you, every time you visit with us. We are making some changes immediately to our membership program that will help us realize these resources and allow us to focus on the quality experience our members demand. We have created a new structure that is tailored to each family’s circumstance in order to maximize the benefits for everyone. You select the payment level that best reflects your family size. This is a joint membership with both The Children’s Museum, West Hartford and our satellite facility, Roaring Brook Nature Center, in Canton.

You will continue to enjoy unlimited free admission along with discounts on programs, events, merchandise and guest visits at both locations.  In addition you may continue to use your membership at reciprocating Science and Technology Centers, through the Association of Science and Technology Centers (ASTC) reciprocal program.

Some new limitations do apply. ASTC has a policy that excludes reciprocal participation if your home museum is within 90 miles of the museum you are visiting. In addition, we are no longer participating in the reciprocal program with the Association of Children’s Museums (ACM). We recognize that changes to benefits are often challenging to absorb. Our institution is focused on recognizing the need to direct resources into improving the experience for our members. Without changes to the participation in the reciprocal programs, we would face significant financial challenges. We understand that as a member you expect us to make sound financial decisions in order to ensure the continued health of this treasured community institution.

New and improved benefits are coming your way with your next renewal. You will receive two complimentary guest passes to invite friends to experience the fun. Additional guests will now receive a doubled discount with two dollars each off their admissions. Renewal memberships will also include a value pack of discounted offers and vouchers for special programs and events. A request we have heard many times has been for museum time just for members, free from the crowds and focused on the experiences our members have come to enjoy. Recognizing that our membership is valued by families with diverse obligations, we will announce special members-only visit opportunities throughout the year. I am happy to announce our first opportunity will be on Friday March 30th from 5:00 pm to 7:00 pm.

Let me reassure you that although we are implementing this new program now, you will continue to enjoy uninterrupted member benefits at both The Children’s Museum and Roaring Brook Nature Center. We will roll your current membership over to the new level that best meets your family size at no additional charge. A new membership card and additional information on the new benefit structure will be mailed to you in approximately six weeks. Until then, you may continue to use your current card for admission to our museum.

I want to take this opportunity as the new President and CEO of The Children’s Museum to thank all of you, from my heart, for all of the support we have received in the past. I know that as we move forward providing richer experiences for families, that our membership base will grow and that The Children’s Museum will prosper.

Sincerely,

Robert Griesmer
President and CEO

My wife and I are big believers in reading to Reid, and try to read with our nephews and friends kids when ever we can. Our goal is two hours or less a day of TV for Reid and at very least a half hour of sharing books. As long as Reid has had a set bedtime routine, reading has been part of it.

We aren’t at chapter books yet. We’ve been reading a lot about potty training lately. Reid’s favorite books right now would include Cock A Doodle Hooooooo! and Smash! Mash! Crash! There Goes the Trash!

Reading to Reid is easily my favorite part of the day.

While it may be true that “guys read,” I’m a lousy example. I haven’t read a book since college. Truth be told, I didn’t read a whole lot of books in college. Like many guys, I read a lot online. I read newspapers and magazines, but not books.

Maybe part of it is that boys aren’t as strong readers as girls because they see their dads reading less than their moms. Reading books should not be seen as a feminine trait.

Parenthood makes you a better person. I try to eat more vegetables and less junk to be a good example. I am  a more loving, compassionate person now that I’m a dad. I personally watch less TV than I used to.

So maybe I’ll crack a book.

Let me know why you think boys lag behind girls in reading.