It’s Our Swagger Wagon

18 Jan

My wife and I have a big rolling reminder of our miscarriage and two failed IVF cycles. During those few precious weeks that we were in fact pregnant, we bought a minivan. The plan when we bought the Honda Odyssey in June was to have a car seat strapped into the chair next to Reid’s seat by now. That seat will remain empty for the foreseeable future.

It’s what I drove to the UConn Health Center for the ultrasound appointment where we saw our baby. It’s also the vehicle we had when we came out of the ultrasound appointment where we found out we had had the miscarriage.

That van is carrying a great deal of painful memories.

On a superficial level, my wife and I both think it’s just odd for a couple with one child to drive a minivan.

We’ve talked a number of times about trading it in. But it’s also a sign of better days ahead of us. I’m resolved to fill that van with happy family memories.

We plan to take it on  family vacations and a vehicle that size is  needed to take the three of us, our two dogs and all our stuff up to Vermont to visit my wife’s family.  Reid gets a kick out of anytime he rides with my wife and I and his grandparents, aunts and uncles. Why wouldn’t he? The van is quite literally filled with love for him on these trips.

Our family will move forward, and that van is part of our plan to do it.

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